First meetings are sometimes awkward, at least until you have an opportunity to break the ice. A great deal of effort that goes into learning about a new person, and some of us are shy or nervous about stepping into the romantic arena at a party, nightclub, or other group event where we get mingled with strangers and lots of new, unfamiliar faces. But the good news is that online dating helps to eliminate much of that awkwardness, even for those who are timid or tongue-tied in the presence of someone attractive. The Internet provides an easy, non-threatening, low-stress venue for us to discover new people and get to know other singles who are seeking companionship, fun, and romance.
One of the reasons that cyber dating is so popular is that much of that "icebreaking" phase is already behind you before you actually meet each other. In fact, just by reading profiles posted on dating sites you can ascertain a great deal about a person - sometimes more than you would learn even if you went out on one or two dates with them in a traditional way. And good matchmaking sites provide a safe, secure, and convenient environment for men and women to share interesting personal information, while also sharing romantic chemistry.
Not long after you begin to experience the benefits and positive results of online dating, you will begin meeting people who are attractive - and attracted - to you, and you'll want to go out on a "real" date. As with any first meeting, you'll want to arrange a convenient and comfortable way for the two of you to make a personal acquaintance. Creating a smooth transition from knowing each other via the Internet to meeting face to face is not difficult, and the following tips may help you figure out when and where to get together.
* Meet in a casual atmosphere that both of you find comfortable.
* To help take the focus and intensity off of each other, redirect your energy toward doing a shared activity. Plan an "active" date. For example, you can go to an art museum, share a lunch with friends, attend a sports event or concert, or just take a stroll through the local antique district, mall, or park.
* Go "Dutch". When both of you pay your fair share, there is no pressure on either person. Split the tab, and instead of worrying about how much to spend, concentrate on spending time getting to know one another.
* Go for a daytime date the first time. "Day Dates" carry less sense of expectation. Meet for coffee or go browsing in the bookstore. Grab a quick sandwich, or share lunch during your break from work. When lunch hour ends, you can go your separate ways without it feeling awkward or intense. And if it was a good date, you can go ahead and plan the next one, for a romantic evening together.
Don't forget that the goal is to relax and have a good time. You already know that you share lots of things in common, and you have already dealt with the hardest part of most first dates, which is the icebreaking business. Online dating took care of that obstacle. Now you can pay attention to the more important phase of developing your acquaintance with each other, which may lead to the kind of romance you've been hoping would come your way.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Online Dating Romance: Is it all in your mind, or does it really work?
The jittery feeling in your stomach, the tingling in your brain at the mention of their name, and the tossing and turning at night as you can't get your new crush out of your thoughts and off your mind - we all know the symptoms of falling in love. But when we start to feel those sensations over the Internet and across cyberspace, can we trust them to be authentic? Or is it all a mental concoction?
Feelings of love constitute a philosophical and psychological set of perpetual questions that have been pondered by great minds since the beginning of time. And who knows how Cupid works on each of us or what our unique responses are to the chemistry of mutual attraction? But the validity of online chemistry is certain and factual, and has been borne out by experience, statistical evidence, and an unprecedented boom in the popularity of online dating. Online romance happens, online matchmaking works, and the people who participate often do find the significant other who turns out to the love of their life.
But cyber dating is different from a cyber relationship, and this is probably where most of the confusion and skepticism begins. In a relationship, there are many dynamics that come into play. And if you have ever experienced a long distance relationship, you know that there are special problems involved in dating someone who lives at an inconvenient distance. The same is true of romance over the Internet - distance doesn't necessarily impede the relationship, but it does create a unique set of challenges. But whether you are across town or across the continent, a romance that is only active via the Internet will by definition become long distance. It is not unlike having a relationship based only on writing letters and sending packages.
The successful romances begin over the Internet, but then move offline. And if you keep that in mind while using cyber dating sites, you will have better chances of finding a satisfying relationship. And keep in mind that the Internet allows you to meet eligible singles from all over the world, so if you are living in Alaska and fall in love with someone in Australia, it will carry the same kinds of challenges as any conventional long distance relationship. To avoid this kind of result, use sites that allow you search profiles based on location. For instance, if you live in Houston, Texas, you may want to peruse profiles of other singles in Houston, or within a 40-mile radius of your home. And if you are planning to travel overseas for a year to work on your French, you may want to search for singles in Paris, with the goal of getting together with them once you land in Europe.
Take advantage of the various search tools offered by romance sites, and then get to know others who are interested in dating. Before you know it, the proverbial love bug may bite you. But nobody has come up with a remedy for that one, so once you fall in love, you two are on your own.
Feelings of love constitute a philosophical and psychological set of perpetual questions that have been pondered by great minds since the beginning of time. And who knows how Cupid works on each of us or what our unique responses are to the chemistry of mutual attraction? But the validity of online chemistry is certain and factual, and has been borne out by experience, statistical evidence, and an unprecedented boom in the popularity of online dating. Online romance happens, online matchmaking works, and the people who participate often do find the significant other who turns out to the love of their life.
But cyber dating is different from a cyber relationship, and this is probably where most of the confusion and skepticism begins. In a relationship, there are many dynamics that come into play. And if you have ever experienced a long distance relationship, you know that there are special problems involved in dating someone who lives at an inconvenient distance. The same is true of romance over the Internet - distance doesn't necessarily impede the relationship, but it does create a unique set of challenges. But whether you are across town or across the continent, a romance that is only active via the Internet will by definition become long distance. It is not unlike having a relationship based only on writing letters and sending packages.
The successful romances begin over the Internet, but then move offline. And if you keep that in mind while using cyber dating sites, you will have better chances of finding a satisfying relationship. And keep in mind that the Internet allows you to meet eligible singles from all over the world, so if you are living in Alaska and fall in love with someone in Australia, it will carry the same kinds of challenges as any conventional long distance relationship. To avoid this kind of result, use sites that allow you search profiles based on location. For instance, if you live in Houston, Texas, you may want to peruse profiles of other singles in Houston, or within a 40-mile radius of your home. And if you are planning to travel overseas for a year to work on your French, you may want to search for singles in Paris, with the goal of getting together with them once you land in Europe.
Take advantage of the various search tools offered by romance sites, and then get to know others who are interested in dating. Before you know it, the proverbial love bug may bite you. But nobody has come up with a remedy for that one, so once you fall in love, you two are on your own.
Finding Online Dating Romance for Yourself
You may have stumbled onto the online dating scene while surfing the Internet, and thought it looked like an interesting way to meet other singles. Or maybe a friend or colleague at work has had positive experiences with online dating, and recommended it as an alternative to the singles bars and blind dates you're grown weary of trying.
Online romance happens. And it happens to people with your background and interests, who mingle over the Internet and then date people they meet who meet their criteria and have the right interpersonal chemistry. In fact, there are sites that provide matchmaking services to people from all walks of life, educational levels, professions, economic brackets, and locations. Just browse sites and pick those that seem to fit your style and personality. Here are just a few examples of the variety of online singles circles that are available with a few clicks of the computer mouse:
* Senior Singles
* Environmentally Conscious Singles
* Christian Singles
* Jewish Singles
* Gay Singles
* College Singles
* Professional Singles
* Single Parent Singles
* Romantic Redheaded Singles Who Fish, Sew, and Drive German Cars
Well, okay, we admit that we made up that last category, but we would not be surprised if you did a thorough search and found dozens of singles who fit that specific description. The Internet community is accessed by more almost half of the people living in the USA every day, and by using Internet-based dating resources, you can an almost unlimited number of singles who share the same desire as you, namely, to meet someone great and date.
Here are some basic tips to help you begin your process of online romantic discovery:
* First, make a short list that describes the kind of person you're interested in dating. For example, "Age 20-25, athletic, enjoys dancing, non-smoker, in college or recently graduated". Or for instance, "Age 45-65, enjoys cooking at home and watching television, regular church attendance, has a child from a previous marriage."
* Whatever you want, just make notes to help you define it.
* Next, visit websites and use some of the descriptors you came up with to search for the profiles of other singles. For instance, you might do a search within the NYC area, for "Jewish, aged 30-35" Once you get results, narrow down your search by reading specific information listed in the profile. Does this person like to go to restaurants and travel? Do they have photographs I can view? Are they interested in going to the gym on a regular basis, as I do?
* Soon you will have compiled a list of potential "candidates". And most sites have a feature that allows you to save those profiles for later review.
* Once you find someone you'd like to meet, just follow the protocol for contacting them, which usually involves simply hitting a button and sending them an email.
* Keep your initial contact simple, straightforward, courteous, and to the point. For example:
* "Hi. I just read your profile and you sound so interesting. I think we may have a lot in common, and I would love to get to know you better. Please reply."
Soon your inbox may fill up with messages from others who are, like you, searching for someone to get to know in a romantic way. You're well on your way to successful romance, and you did not even have to leave your desk to find someone special.
Online romance happens. And it happens to people with your background and interests, who mingle over the Internet and then date people they meet who meet their criteria and have the right interpersonal chemistry. In fact, there are sites that provide matchmaking services to people from all walks of life, educational levels, professions, economic brackets, and locations. Just browse sites and pick those that seem to fit your style and personality. Here are just a few examples of the variety of online singles circles that are available with a few clicks of the computer mouse:
* Senior Singles
* Environmentally Conscious Singles
* Christian Singles
* Jewish Singles
* Gay Singles
* College Singles
* Professional Singles
* Single Parent Singles
* Romantic Redheaded Singles Who Fish, Sew, and Drive German Cars
Well, okay, we admit that we made up that last category, but we would not be surprised if you did a thorough search and found dozens of singles who fit that specific description. The Internet community is accessed by more almost half of the people living in the USA every day, and by using Internet-based dating resources, you can an almost unlimited number of singles who share the same desire as you, namely, to meet someone great and date.
Here are some basic tips to help you begin your process of online romantic discovery:
* First, make a short list that describes the kind of person you're interested in dating. For example, "Age 20-25, athletic, enjoys dancing, non-smoker, in college or recently graduated". Or for instance, "Age 45-65, enjoys cooking at home and watching television, regular church attendance, has a child from a previous marriage."
* Whatever you want, just make notes to help you define it.
* Next, visit websites and use some of the descriptors you came up with to search for the profiles of other singles. For instance, you might do a search within the NYC area, for "Jewish, aged 30-35" Once you get results, narrow down your search by reading specific information listed in the profile. Does this person like to go to restaurants and travel? Do they have photographs I can view? Are they interested in going to the gym on a regular basis, as I do?
* Soon you will have compiled a list of potential "candidates". And most sites have a feature that allows you to save those profiles for later review.
* Once you find someone you'd like to meet, just follow the protocol for contacting them, which usually involves simply hitting a button and sending them an email.
* Keep your initial contact simple, straightforward, courteous, and to the point. For example:
* "Hi. I just read your profile and you sound so interesting. I think we may have a lot in common, and I would love to get to know you better. Please reply."
Soon your inbox may fill up with messages from others who are, like you, searching for someone to get to know in a romantic way. You're well on your way to successful romance, and you did not even have to leave your desk to find someone special.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)